When I was growing up, what did I wanted to be? I don't think I can recall I had an answer that I felt passionate about. But I went with the flow and ended up as a doctor. But it catches on oneself, doesn't it. This lack of passion about something.

Sure there were moments when I felt proud about the highlights in my medical journey. Like being best in Biology (yes, there was a point in high school that I actually was... for someone who can only manage to snag "Most Behaved" or "Best in Conduct", that is a shining moment!). And before I was ready (as if a couple more years would make me), I was made to pick what to write down in college application forms. Uhm, Biology would be nice. Those wildlife in National Geographic stuff were cool. But the flow was to go into Medicine, not unless I wanted to be a teacher or a researcher (forget NatGeo... there's a lot of research there). At that point, I didn't know what else a biologist could be. Or maybe I just didn't explore? About 90% of the class were bound to be doctors.

And so, I went on to become one. There were significant moments. But in the recesses of my being, they sense of satisfaction wasn't long lasting. I was just enduring. It's hard to cheer oneself up if there wasn't passion in the work. Sure, Dr. JTV sounds good. I'm happy for my Dad, & Mom (I have always wanted to make them proud). But, deep in my heart, the personal pride that came with having made it was superficial. I couldn't find fulfillment in the numerous patients that I know in one way or another, my practice has touched, whose health have improved. The sense of achievement that comes with a job well-done were very short lived. That wasn't how it was supposed to feel if you're in love with what you're doing. (Oh, don't worry, I wasn't entirely robotic, or soul-less, with my practice. My worst morbidities/ mortalities in training still occasionally hunt... ).

Then I became an anesthesiologist. It is a cool specialty. (See what's it like from this anesthesiologist's mind.) Somewhere along the way, I thought I could learn to love my job. And probably I did. A little. But it wasn't enough to sustain a life-long enthusiamt, to keep the fire burning. To want to practice forever. Will high professional fees be an incentive? Oh, but money is fleeting! Burn-our will be inevitable.

That's just the curse of being lost, I guess. Even if I read the entire book of Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life, and take it to heart... probably something will still be amiss as I didn't have the vehicle for that purpose to ride on. I don't know.

Until I became a wife, and a mom. Then I found my passion. I must have caught a talent God showered on earth, after all... and it lies in the realm of motherhood. =)

Why am I (and my husband) doing the business? For financial security... definitely... check! But there is more to it. It brings us closer to our dreams. This journey to success has definitely lead me home, what is in my heart. To spend all the time in the world with our kids doing things we love, and dare to dream. Now isn't that something?

I had no regrets that all the 'going with the flow' had led me to a path that involves the art of healing. But there was something else for me. To succeed as a doctor means exchanging my time with the people I'm most passionate about... with hospital hours (not fair!). The mother in me becomes saddened. For a Libran, I must be losing the balancing act. Actually, even if I did a good job at balancing career and home life, it still meant hours away from my boys. In my heart, I know that God's purpose for me was to be a mother above being successful in a career as noble as it is.

With that being out, all I ask from family and friends is to, at least, support us in this endeavor (we would've loved to have you along in this path, if only you had wanted to). Is it too much to ask to change brands (are you so attached to brand X)? Or to keep to your thoughts when you wonder why the heck should we bother with a network marketing business? Because our business has integrity, and it delivers. And we're serious about it, as it is the closest thing we have to getting us to where we dream to be!

When we have "harvested", don't worry, my husband will still be at his best as a surgeon. As for me, I haven't decided yet on fully letting go of my practice, that isn't my concern-- owning my time is. But definitely, this time, I know what I truly want-- that is, being able to be with my kids, spending quality time, uninterrupted by emergency calls, (and 0n-duty/ on-call days), of course, with my hubby, too. Plus to be able to treat our parents with free travels, and frequent visits, unlimited my money and time.


I was lost, now I am found. I will be free!