Few more minutes left and I'll be going back to the dorm.
Spent the weekend at Calamba. It wasn't the plan but it's a good thing that mom had to stay there coz I'd be bugged (because of the gas i'd be using) about going all the way to Calamba even if it's for my (adopted) high school's grand homecoming. The reunion wasn't as great as I expected. Not that I should be expecting so much coz when I flew to Jakarta, I left only few very good friends, I wasn't close with the whole batch afterall. Out of the 150 or so students in my batch, only around 20 showed up! Thomas wasn't there, neither was Jovert. Not that I'm still interested. It's just that I'd like to see how they look now, after eight years. Heard Jovert already got 2 kids. He could've been my first boyfriend if only I could tell that he really liked me...was I really that insecure that I couldn't get myself to believe that a heart throb like him can fall for me? Hehe... but that's ok, he's not the one I really like, besides if that happened I'd be thinking now how corny I was to get into such a relationship, and at a young age. And Thomas, I remember being head-over-heels. So he did have a crush on me (as confirmed last night by Zyrex)...hehe...but he was slow and he was fickle so there...he can only say sayang when I left. If he knew how much I liked him would he have made a move? Imagine. Was I that unapproachable? I was just quiet and shy! I was never a snob!!! What he missed! I'm somehow proud I've never had a boyfriend though, imagine going all through those unnecessary pain, and the feelings that you actually went out with all those guys?! No thanks. It's just flattering, that's all there is to that. One thing I realized this afternoon at the grocery while looking at a familyman buying fish is that I shouldn't be concerned about my singlehood right now because what I really want is to be in the dating game when I'm independent, when I can run my own life. Not now. Imagine asking for dad's permission to go out on a date. Maybe not ask for his permission. But just imagine having to tell my parents where I'm going and who I'm going out with? I bet I'd feel so embarassed doing that. Picture? When I'm stable, and I'm in-charge of my own life, and I'm earning my own money, that's the time I'd be taking care of my lovelife. Not now. How could I? I'm still being fed by my folks. So it's all ok, just enjoy life now. "This too shall pass", so why rush into the future? And so this aspect of my life is settled for now.
Back to the reunion...like what Nic said, I shoudn't feel so sorry for those who lead harder lives, for those whose jobs aren't so ideal because even their kind of work, they're struggles give them dignity. Happiness is relative so I should't be harsh on my judgement, I shoudn't judge at all. Maybe Reymar did looked like a geek and maybe if I was his student I'd dislike him so much, and maybe he's not so fashionable, and maybe he's not friends with my very good friend Sheryl but he still deserves respect. It isn't his fault if life isn't always in his favour so I'd just better shut up rather than make fun of the way he is now. And I think others should do the same and not be scornful. Being judgemental is such a destructive attitude. *Sigh* at least I got to ask him how he was and all that. But I couldn't be too friendly with him, not because of the reasons above, but because of my loyalty to Sheryl.
Zyrex. Good guy, still the same. I was pretty pleased when he named me as one of the people in high school he wouldn't forget. I move a lot but that doesn't make me forget people I leave behind (ok, so maybe some of them have more tendencies to slip out of my mind). It's nice to know that they still remember me even when I'm gone. I thought they'd forget. Maybe they wouln't forget my name or how I'd look like but it's just wonderful how they've always remembered about the friendship and still hold it as something special after all those years (even without a single word between us). Same goes with Rhea. She's changed in some ways. She's more confident know and she's not so quiet anymore but her core, the Rhea I know is still the same. "People don't change. We are who we are". I'm so glad to see her again and what's more wonderful is that she feels the same. It's just lovely how you're still in the thoughts of these friends, just like them in mine. It's a pity though we hadn't have much time to talk about everything, about our lives and everything that has passed while we were apart. But it was really good to know they're alright, we're alright, and each wasn't forgotten.